Goodbyes, Letting Go, and Moving On...

Kinda, my daughter, is only 5 years old, a little princess, still in Daycare, where she spent the last 3 years. She made lots of friends, children and teachers, some very close, seeing each other beyond the proximity of the Daycare...

Today was her last day, last day to attend, last day to see her friends, last day in Daycare before she goes to Kindergarten next month. And although she is only 5 years old, today was very emotional to her!! She didn't want to leave, she didn't like the fact that it's her last day, she kept telling me I don't want it to be my last day. She kept saying that she loves her friends, she doesn't want to go away. She had this sad face, which is heart breaking. Her friends started to notice that she is sad. They started to come and talk to her, comfort her, tell her that they love her, give her affection and support. Those are all 5 years old children!!

It was such an emotional scene, and inspiring as well. It makes you think, that no matter how old we are, goodbyes are never easy, they are hard, emotional, heart breaking. We suffer and feel the pain of going away, letting go of those we love. It makes you think that human emotion is profound, genuine, and deep...

For us adults, we can rationalize those situations, and try to convince ourselves that this is something that has to happen, and hope for a better tomorrow, hope this is for the best, for everyone... We try to control our emotions, not to break up in tears and despair, although we often fail. We try to believe that letting go is the natural course of life, and that letting go is a sign of strength, and that letting go is a positive thing... We read inspirational quotes, we listen to our friends and loved ones, trying to gain that strength to let go... And move on, towards the next step, next chapter, next book...

I believe in letting go and moving on, although I mostly fail in actually doing it... Maybe I act as if I moved on, while in fact, deep inside, that pain of letting go eats me alive, hurts every part of me, dramatizes my life, inside... I control my outer looks and reactions and interactions. It's so painful, but I believe we all have to do it, and eventually can do it ... When it's time, when all has been said and done, when it's time for change, we have to be strong, let go and move on, with hope and a smile on our face...

As for Kinda, my little princess, I know it hurts a bit, but I'm sure with a few toys, and some play time and ice cream, the fun will make her happy, and make her move on, for now at least :-)

Wish it was that easy for us adults, but it's not!!

Here is to a happy joyful life filled with excitement, adventures, success, and good health...

To New Beginnings...

Cheers my friends...

BISS 

Love at First Sight

It was love at first sight... It was magic... It was something else... It was unearthly!! She captivated my heart and soul... She captivated all my senses... It's like she made me her slave for eternity from the moment I laid my eyes on her... It was love at first sight...

5 years ago, in 2008, I met her for the first time... She was so adorable, so tender, cute, gorgeous, soft... She was a beautiful princess that dazzled my eyes from the very first moment I saw her...

From that moment on, I could not leave her sight, I wanted to stay with her day and night, night and day... No matter what she did, I wanted to be around her... Happy or angry, in good or bad moods, quite or noisy, sleep or awake, I could not leave her alone... I was totally in love...

My close friends and family did not imagine me like that!! They did not think I would be so madly in love, so obsessed, so caring, so gentle and warm... Even I did not imagine myself like this!! It was magic as I said, something you cannot imagine until you live it... And I did, and I loved it...

But despite this magical love and passion, life had other plans for me!! I did a mistake, a series of mistakes, some big and some small, and that was enough to cause the first break up, the first time I leave my love, the first time we live apart!!

No matter what life gave me on the other end, it was never the same!! It did not feel right, never did... She was always inside me, inside my heart and soul and mind... No pleasures or joys could really take me away... Her strong love was always drawing me back to her... She was my north pole, that no matter what other magnets drew me in different directions, I was naturally drawn back to my north pole... To her...

And it did happen, she gave me another chance, she took me back, and I was flying with joy and happiness, feeling home, where I belong... But not for long...

You see, despite the strong and magical love, it was not enough!! I was still dragging in my mistakes, I was still the same person, I did not learn from my mistakes yet!! Love alone could not heal all wounds, could not fix all what was broken, could not bring us back together for good!!

And so we went on a swinging cycle, back and forth, together and then apart, over and over again!! Each time the scars grow deeper and deeper, each time it hurts more and more, each time it breaks something inside me... And I would try to stand up, move on, carry my wounds and live...

But I couldn't!! Every time I laid eyes on her I would feel weak, feel the guilt, feel the agony and hurt for living away from my love, my true and genuine love...

Call me stupid, call me a coward, call me naive, call me childish, whatever you like, but I did learn the hard way, that my life is nothing without her, my life is worthless without her!! No matter what I try or what others tried with me, whatever theories or plans or efforts or justifications, nothing worked to take me away from her!! She is where I belong, she is who I want to be with... She is my destiny...

During the past 5 years, I had a rough trip, a journey filled with sadness, hurt, agony, and tragedy... But it was also filled with joy, happiness, laughter, fun, and love... I did good and bad, I built and destroyed, I caused harm and joy... I was hated and loved, ignored and cherished, cursed and praised...

But today, 5 years since I first laid my eyes on the love of my life, today I reached the stage where it is time for me to say ENOUGH, enough doing mistakes, enough hurting others, enough confusing others, enough harming others... It is time to follow my heart, follow my destiny, and seek my north pole...

Today, I apologize to everyone for everything I did, and above all I apologize to you my love, for being away, for hurting you, for confusing you, for not being there for you every time you needed me...

Today we close the page on 5 years of memories, good and bad, and we start writing a new chapter, hopefully filled with more and more joy and happiness and love, for everyone, and for us, my love, my soul, my beautiful princess, my precious little daughter KINDA...

Happy 5th Birthday my love...

I love you, truly madly deeply...

Your loving DAD...

BISS

Why Am I a Palestinian Refugee?!?

Palestinian Children playing in their Refugee Camp

Last night I had an interesting session with a group of Canadian/Israeli/Jewish friends. We met as part of an initiative to have conversations between people who are involved or related or have an interest in the Palestinian/Israeli conflict. Among the interesting talks that we had was the question "Why Am I still a Refugee till today?!?"

The interesting thing is that really, most Israelis and Jews don't really understand it, and they rarely try to dig into answers or facts about it, because the prevailing assumption among them is that it is a political thing, a political issue, maybe even a bit fabricated or so on!!

One from the group last night said: "I believe the problem is that Arab countries are keeping the Palestinians as refugees to keep the fire burning under Israel". This is probably a very common belief among Israelis and Jews. And I have been faced with this question so many times, and had to explain it in so many different contexts. So today I decided to actually explain it here, and keep it as a reference for those who want to understand "Why am I still a Palestinian Refugees?!?

As always, I remind you my friends, this is my explanation, my interpretation, and my analysis, being a Palestinian Refugee, and having lived and read and researched and interacted with so any elements in this regards :-)

First, the basic stuff: Just like Israel does not grant citizenship to anyone born in Israel, the same applies to the majority, if not all, the Arab countries!! So if an American is working in Israel or in Lebanon, and she gives birth to a child there, this child does not get neither the Israeli nor the Lebanese passport. And so, all Palestinian Refugees living in any Arabic country go under this same process!! No citizenship is granted, and the refugee status and documents are passed on to the children. Thus, the refugees keep growing generation after generation... Clear?

The other thing, Palestinians are proud of being Palestinians, and we are so attached to our culture and heritage and land, just like so many others around the world, including the indigenous Jews who lived in Palestine/Israel!! And so, it is only natural to keep the faith, the hope, the resistance, and the fight to go back to Palestine, our Homeland. Why would anyone just give up on Palestine and agree to become a citizen of another country. It has been 65 years, and Palestinians still hold on to this right to return to their homes, and no one can force them to let go. Again, generation after generation, Palestinian refugees continue to grow...

The next point is a bit harsh and complicated!! You see, Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, Egypt, and all the remaining Arab countries, are indeed Arab countries, sharing the Arabic language, and the Islamic Arabic history. But, and this is a big BUT, every Arab country is different!! The Arabic language differs in each country, the traditions differ, the clothes, the demographics, the religions & sects, the economy, and the list goes on and on. The sad reality in fact is that there is no real harmony or unity among these Arab countries. And there are so many sensitivities specific to each country. All that adds more to the complex problem of the Palestinian Refugees!! So it is not as simple as you might think for any Arab country to take all those big numbers of refugees, and risk the stability or structure of their own country, for the sake of their Arab neighbors!! Unfortunately this is the reality on the ground, and you have to understand that, and respect this for each country!!

In fact, it is easier for a Palestinian refugee to travel to Western countries than traveling to Arab countries!! Weird right?

And so, for those who think that just because Palestine is an Arabic country and all neighboring countries are Arabic as well, this means those neighbors should solve the Palestinian problem, you are absolutely mistaken!!!

Without a doubt, there are so many more reasons and layers and explanations that outsiders, Israelis, Jews, Westerners, all of you won't understand about the hard, sad, and difficult situation that Palestinian Refugees go through on a daily basis in those host countries, as a consequence of the events of 1948. And because of that we, the descendants of the Palestinians who fled their homes 1948, still live as refugees, and still pass on our refugee status to our children, who knows till when!?!

My final comment, based on an article I read this morning, and based on the conversations last night: Palestinians did not kill Jews before 1948, Palestinians did not hate Jews before 1948, Palestinians are not invented people, and Palestine was not a land with no people!! Don't ask us, but ask the indigenous Jewish population of Palestine in the late 1890s and early 1900s till 1948!!

1948 changed the lives of millions of Palestinians, and created the longest ever Refugees problem in modern history. We have rights as Human Beings, the same way Jews and Israelis have rights as Human Beings. We are both attached to this land, we both have rights to this land... The way to solve this is by treating each other equally, feeling for each other, respecting each other, understanding each other... You survived the Holocaust and came to this land to build a new home, do it, but build next to us, not on top of us!!!

Peace & Love...

The Palestinian Refugee
BISS

Palestine is Our Choice

Last night, I was reading a few articles here and there about Palestine and Israel, I also watched a few videos about the history of Palestine, the history of Israel, and so on...

The interesting point that you get, is that everyone is deciding on behalf of the Palestinians what their fate and future should be!! In none of those articles or videos did I see any consultation or opinion of the people, the Palestinians, the main stakeholders of all of this!! Can't we have a say in what we really want?!?! Weird right?? No it's not weird, it's actually cruel, unjust, tyrannical, savage, ignorant, and inhuman...

Palestinians are supposed to watch others decide their own destiny, get the support of the world, by diplomacy or force, while we,the Palestinians, wait for the mercy of others, wait for the verdict of others on whether we are real or not, whether we deserve a country or not, whether we will live or die!!! What world is that?!?

The world supported Southern Sudan to create a country, because they are different from the rest of Sudan. The world supported the division of Czechoslovakia into different smaller countries that guarantees a secure, safe, and prosperous future for the different ethnic groups of that country. The world supports Taiwan, Armenia, Pakistan, and so many more examples from history and the future... All under the mission of protecting the people, defending human rights, and the right to decide their destiny...

The irony is that it all stops at the doorsteps of Palestine!!! Suddenly the world is silent, tight handed, speechless, unable to move and defend and take action. For 65 years, no one seemed to care much to really solve the issue of the Palestinian People. Instead, we were left to figure it out on our own, facing the only DEMOCRACY of the Middle East!!

In fact, to be fair, there are so many out there who defend the Palestinians and they support the Palestinian struggle and cause. And it was apparent in the recent vote in the UN, when the majority of the world voted in favor of recognizing the State of Palestine. It was a fierce political battle that involved so much lobbying and negotiations and debate. And at the end Palestine prevailed and won it's recognition...

But in that vote, many were driven by a tremendous feeling of guilt!! Because they abandoned Palestinians all those years, because they let generations of Palestinians live as refugees, because they did not stand up to the basic rights of the people of Palestine!!! Nonetheless, thank you for everyone who voted in favor of Palestine. And for those who abstained, well, it's ok this time, maybe next time you should be more bold ;-)

As for the countries who voted against the recognition of the State of Palestine, mainly Israel, Canada, and the United States, it's a shame, a disgrace, and a disappointment for democracy, for human rights, for justice, for humanity... Not because they voted against, nope, it's their right of course, but for the way, the method, the approach, the speeches, the rhetoric, and the aggression they used against Palestinians!! For real, did these guys watch themselves again?? Were they stripped from their human soul? Were they talking about Palestinians or about insects!? Or maybe all of us are stupid, and those elite Trio know it all!!!

As a supporter of Human Rights, I do recognize and acknowledge the right of Israel to exist, and so many Palestinians around the world, and in Palestine, do recognize this, and on top of them is President Mahmoud Abbas. But it cannot be at the expense of the Human Rights, the dignity, and the future of the Palestinian People!! You cannot build and establish Israel by destroying and erasing Palestine!!! And of course, not Israel, not the US, and not anyone else has the right to decide our existence and future...

If the politicians are corrupt, looking for their interests and ignoring those of their people, then it is the duty of every citizen of humanity to seek the truth, seek justice, seek equality, defend the existence of Israel,while defending the existence of Palestine, equally, without prejudice!!

In a recent lecture by an Israeli professor that I attended lately, he was talking about how Israel cannot trust Palestinians to give them their own state, fearing for its security!! Well, what about Palestinians?!?! They can trust Israel, or should I say, they are supposed to trust Israel?!? Will Palestinians be safe at the end?!? Seriously, who should be afraid of who?!?! It's a funny scene, just like that of the elephant (Israel) and the mouse (Palestine)!!! And I only mean this in the military aspect of course :-) 

In the end it doesn't matter. We deserve a country of our own, we have the right for a country of our own!! Israel can have its fear or phobia or paranoia or whatever sentimental feelings from its own borders!! We are not in a marriage counseling here!! We are discussing the future of the People of Palestine...

Stop calling us Arabs instead of Palestinians. Stop calling it the Territories or Judea & Samaria instead of Palestine. Stop claiming we are fake people because we are as real as it gets. Stop calling it terrorism instead of activism (referring to non-violent resistance). Stop calling it AntiSemitism instead of Freedom of Speech or Expression of Opinion (referring to pure, valid, logical criticism of Israel or Jews). Stop claiming Palestine was a land with no people because it was a land full of Palestinians before all this conflict (Muslims, Christians, and Jews)! Stop defending Israel by attacking Palestine. Start defending Israel by defending Palestine! Stop building Israel on the ruins of Palestine. Stop war and begin Peace. Stop Hate and spread Love...

There is no easy path for all of us. But with a strong will everything can be achieved. Palestinians have resisted and struggled and stood proud in front of all tragedies, and we will continue doing so till Palestine is back, a beautiful independent and peaceful place for all Palestinians and everyone who loves Palestine. Israel will exist in peace and prosperity only when Palestine exists in peace and prosperity...

Always keep in mind, Palestine is not anybody's call or decision, Palestine is Our Choice...

To Peace and Love...

BISS

Homeland

Homeland, as per wikipedia, means: the concept of the place (cultural geography) to which an ethnic group holds a long history and a deep cultural association with, the country in which a particular national identity began...

It is pretty simple, unless you are still a child, or you are a fanatic stubborn ignorant person who refuses to understand it, right??

So when it comes to my Homeland, Palestine, I don't understand how the definition of HOMELAND above won't apply to Palestinians and Palestine?!? Yet, there seems to be a lot, and a lot, of research and theories and studies, marvelous discoveries, astonishing findings, lengthy papers and publications, just to say that Palestine, the geographical area we know at least since the 20th century, is the homeland for others, not for Palestinians!!!

As in every post I write, I have to clarify that I am no historian or politician or academic with extensive background and information about the Palestine/Israel conflict... Yet, I am an educated Palestinian, a son of two Palestinian refugees, an open-minded peace activist, a supporter of justice, human rights, and equality for all... And this qualifies me, as it qualifies so many people from around the globe, to comment and share their opinion about this issue...

So, going back, there is this simple question of "Who has the right to call this piece of land their HOMELAND?". Well, the answer is not that simple!! I know thousands, even millions, will say "The answer is simple, this is our HOMELAND!!". You will hear this from both sides, and everyone else. Israelis will say this is our historical homeland, Palestinians will say this is our homeland, period!! Others will choose a side, supporting and defending whoever suits their interests or way of thinking or whatever criteria...

Hmmmmm, so what's the answer? If we want to sit and dig and dissect history, and come up with theories and so on, we will wait another century maybe, or even more, if ever, before we reach an answer...

In fact, I believe this question and its answer is irrelevant!! Who cares after decades of war and deaths and inhumanity and terrorism, who cares about this answer!! Yes there are those who only care about scoring points, demonizing the other, insulting the other, demolishing the other!!! Those my friends are the inhumane group who value nothing but war, death, and destruction, and they care the least for the fate of humanity!! We, the Humane folks, should focus on another question: "How do we make this geographical area the HOMELAND for everyone living there?!?"

Palestinians have been living there, at least since the past century, they grew up there, they developed a culture, a national identity, which is different than the neighboring Arab countries. This is the part, the info, the fact that others do not want to understand, or is difficult to grasp!! We did not come from outer space, we did not come from Fiji, we did not come from Jordan or Lebanon or Syria or Egypt, we did not come from anywhere but Palestine!! We are Palestinians, we speak different, we eat different, we dress different, we think different, even our Kuffiyeh is different!! We are unique, like every other country or ethnic group around the world. So I don't understand, how any person who is not from the region, would come and judge a nation, Palestine, create theories, and act upon it, without understanding who those people are, without asking them or trying to know anything about them even, except for digging books and info from the Internet?!!? Hello, we are here, come talk to us!!!

Moving on, it is also a fact that Israelis lived in this area thousands of years ago. And for some reason, not because of Palestinians, they had to flee their HOMELAND. But this is the same with so many other nations throughout history. Unfortunately, we as Palestinians, have been a victim of this historical claim!!

Imagine this scenario: Mexico comes today to claim back all the southern states from the US, based on the historical tie to the land!! Would that be feasible?

But again, we are beyond history, we are in 2013, where this land has become the HOMELAND for all those Israelis who created the Jewish State 65 years ago. Regardless of how, regardless of the wars, regardless of all the details of the past 65 years, there are generations born and raised in Israel, and so it is their HOMELAND...

Hence we are in a dilemma today, where we have two nations who have every right to name this land their HOMELAND... So what's the solution? How to make both groups live in their HOMELAND??

Although it is so complicated to answer the detailed solution, there is a very simple broad answer: LIVE TOGETHER, acknowledge the other, respect the other, feel for the other, understand the other, work with the other to make this land the HOMELAND for everyone who has a tie to this land...

We all know this quote: The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step...

It is going to take a lot of effort and hard work and transformation, it needs courage and honesty, it needs positivity and determination, it will require compromise and trust... but it is possible. Both sides need to open their minds and hearts, treat each other as humans who want to live happily and peacefully... Remove the hatred and the prejudice, be patient and understanding of the other... Hear the other, compassionately...

No one alone can win this land, BOTH of us can win it, together, with peace and justice and equality, and love...

For starters, if you are an Israeli or a Jew, go make friends with some Palestinians, talk to them, understand the HUMAN Palestinian, not the textbook Palestinian. Know their story, discover their agony, feel their pain, and correct their perceptions about Israel and the Jews as well...

Palestinians, do the same, cross that bridge, break the taboos, and seek a peaceful future in our HOMELAND, for all of us...

If you live in Montreal, I will be more than happy to connect you to some groups that can help you make this connection... Anything for Peace my friends :)

Let's overcome the PAST, let's solve TODAY, and live for a better TOMORROW...

I know I'm being too idealistic, but then again, that's what we all wish for, right?!! I leave the practical details for you to think about & share...

And for those who did not like what I wrote, or got mad because of my opinion, apologies for being ME!!

To Peace and Love...

BISS

It's That Time of the Year

Goodbye 2012, and welcome 2013... Thankfully the world didn't end with the end of the Mayan Calendar, and so we have another year to live, and Plan ;)

Among those plans, there is the ritual of the New Year Resolutions... Of course, the hot word during December and January... Everyone will be asking you "What are your 2013 Resolutions?", "Am I in it?", "Did you finish all your 2012 ones?", and on and on with questions about those Resolutions...

Go to the Internet, and you will find millions of articles and blogs about the Resolutions: How to make the best of your Resolutions, The best Strategy to write them, what not to include... Add to that the other millions of articles about weight loss, yoga, diets, meditation, and many of the other cliche items that most of us include every year in our Resolutions...

I am a big fan of planning, making To-Do lists and reminders is an obsession of mine. And so I support having a New Year Resolution list, as part of our yearly planning. But what I find is that this process has been distorted... In what sense you might ask, well here is how...

To start off, I have to mention that I'm not a psychologist or sociologist or any of that sort. I'm just BISS, your average human friend with some observations to share... So keep this in mind ;-)

So when it comes to Resolutions, again, in principle this is a good thing to have. Although some people would argue, why do it on this New Year, not on the Chinese New Year or Islamic New Year or whatever other main occasion in your culture or religion or society? It's your call. Do it whenever you want, as long as you know this is a good thing to have: a yearly plan for major things to accomplish in your life... Agreed?

Next is what those Resolutions talk about and include, and that's where a lot of us might disagree... For me, New Year Resolutions should be all about Genuine things that matter to you and your loved ones. It should be from within your heart, and soul... Deep right? Well let me explain more...

Losing weight because I want to look sexier or because I want to get more action!! This is not a New Year resolution that is genuine from within your heart and soul... Modify it a bit: I want to lose some weight and become more fit, because my children are becoming more physically demanding, and I want to be able to keep up. This is genuine, that touches something deep inside a parent...

Another example: I want to stop smoking this year, because my partner says I smell bad in smoke!! Or I read an article that says non-smokers are becoming more cool and popular than smokers, and so I want to stop smoking this year!! Well... I am not that sure this is a major item to be in your Resolutions!! Maybe it is that important to you!! But let me try to tweak it a bit: I want to stop smoking this year because it is affecting my health, and I want to take better care of my health, for my own sake and for the sake of the ones I love... This is more rooted and strong, isn't it??

I'll pause for a minute to explain something: Losing weight or quitting smoking are important to a lot of people, but unless it is a priority, more important than a lot of other things in your life, it should be part of your day to day decisions, not a New Year Resolution!! Don’t add every small and big, major and minor decision or goal you want to do this year in those Resolutions!! Keep it for the elite ones, the special ones, the Genuine ones... Put the rest on other To-Do lists and planners...

Buying a new car, getting that beautiful watch you always wanted, going on a trip to Venice, or even getting a college degree, they may or may not be good fits for your Resolutions. The measure should be how much they matter to your heart and soul... Not only how much ego or fun or excitement they give you... Keep those others for your fun time planning maybe!!

Another thing to add: Resolutions are not designed to simply challenge yourself. It does not help putting 30 items that you know you may not achieve half of them!! Yes setting goals is challenging. You have to focus and commit and be strong and determined to achieve goals you set in your Resolutions. And that's why I stick to my description of "GENUINE" to be your strong tool and motive to keep you determined to accomplish those Resolutions. Challenge yourself to accomplish a few GENUINE Resolutions that matter to you, and hopefully you will...

I'll tell you about my New Year Resolutions, they mostly surf around One topic: My little angel, my princess, my daughter, KINDA... That's where my heart and soul are, that's the most genuine thing in my life, and that's what keeps me so ALIVE...

So dig deep into your heart and soul, think about what matters to you, deeply and genuinely, what are those big challenges that you really really want to achieve this year... Write them down on a piece of paper (it should not exceed one regular page)... Make it fancy maybe, eye catching, to you, not to anyone else... And keep it where you can always see it, to remind yourself, to keep the challenge on... And good luck my friends...

Happy New Year to you all... Wishing you all the happiness, success, and joy in 2013 and all the years to come...

To PEACE and LOVE...

BISS