It was love at first sight... It was magic... It was something else... It was unearthly!! She captivated my heart and soul... She captivated all my senses... It's like she made me her slave for eternity from the moment I laid my eyes on her... It was love at first sight...
5 years ago, in 2008, I met her for the first time... She was so adorable, so tender, cute, gorgeous, soft... She was a beautiful princess that dazzled my eyes from the very first moment I saw her...
From that moment on, I could not leave her sight, I wanted to stay with her day and night, night and day... No matter what she did, I wanted to be around her... Happy or angry, in good or bad moods, quite or noisy, sleep or awake, I could not leave her alone... I was totally in love...
My close friends and family did not imagine me like that!! They did not think I would be so madly in love, so obsessed, so caring, so gentle and warm... Even I did not imagine myself like this!! It was magic as I said, something you cannot imagine until you live it... And I did, and I loved it...
But despite this magical love and passion, life had other plans for me!! I did a mistake, a series of mistakes, some big and some small, and that was enough to cause the first break up, the first time I leave my love, the first time we live apart!!
No matter what life gave me on the other end, it was never the same!! It did not feel right, never did... She was always inside me, inside my heart and soul and mind... No pleasures or joys could really take me away... Her strong love was always drawing me back to her... She was my north pole, that no matter what other magnets drew me in different directions, I was naturally drawn back to my north pole... To her...
And it did happen, she gave me another chance, she took me back, and I was flying with joy and happiness, feeling home, where I belong... But not for long...
You see, despite the strong and magical love, it was not enough!! I was still dragging in my mistakes, I was still the same person, I did not learn from my mistakes yet!! Love alone could not heal all wounds, could not fix all what was broken, could not bring us back together for good!!
And so we went on a swinging cycle, back and forth, together and then apart, over and over again!! Each time the scars grow deeper and deeper, each time it hurts more and more, each time it breaks something inside me... And I would try to stand up, move on, carry my wounds and live...
But I couldn't!! Every time I laid eyes on her I would feel weak, feel the guilt, feel the agony and hurt for living away from my love, my true and genuine love...
Call me stupid, call me a coward, call me naive, call me childish, whatever you like, but I did learn the hard way, that my life is nothing without her, my life is worthless without her!! No matter what I try or what others tried with me, whatever theories or plans or efforts or justifications, nothing worked to take me away from her!! She is where I belong, she is who I want to be with... She is my destiny...
During the past 5 years, I had a rough trip, a journey filled with sadness, hurt, agony, and tragedy... But it was also filled with joy, happiness, laughter, fun, and love... I did good and bad, I built and destroyed, I caused harm and joy... I was hated and loved, ignored and cherished, cursed and praised...
But today, 5 years since I first laid my eyes on the love of my life, today I reached the stage where it is time for me to say ENOUGH, enough doing mistakes, enough hurting others, enough confusing others, enough harming others... It is time to follow my heart, follow my destiny, and seek my north pole...
Today, I apologize to everyone for everything I did, and above all I apologize to you my love, for being away, for hurting you, for confusing you, for not being there for you every time you needed me...
Today we close the page on 5 years of memories, good and bad, and we start writing a new chapter, hopefully filled with more and more joy and happiness and love, for everyone, and for us, my love, my soul, my beautiful princess, my precious little daughter KINDA...
Happy 5th Birthday my love...
I love you, truly madly deeply...
Your loving DAD...
BISS
