An Ode to my Wonderful TEACHERS

When we were kids, MOST of us hated school, we hated homework, we hated quizzes and exams... We hated our TEACHERS!!

Most of us wanted to go to school to have fun with our friends, to play sports, to take part in clubs and activities, or to meet that girl/boy we liked... Some did not even want to go to school at all!!

Most of us did not understand: What would we use Geometry for in real life!!

Most of us did not get it: Why do we need to learn about ancient history, it is history, who cares!

Most of us did not like it: This complicated Physics is irrelevant, I want to be a writer when I grow up, why waste my energy on it!

Most of us did not tolerate it: So much material to cover, so many quizzes and exams, too much pressure!!

Most of us took it out on our TEACHERS: Disrespect, Practical Jokes, Pranks, and some really Nasty Pranks... We were creative in ways to get our frustration on our TEACHERS!

MOST of us were wrong my friends...

TEACHERS made us who we are today...

TEACHERS shaped a lot of our talents, strengths, and powers...

TEACHERS prepared us for real life, for the tough journey, for our future...

TEACHERS sacrificed themselves to ensure we can make it in life...

TEACHERS were generous and loving humans who gave us priceless wealth...

TEACHERS spent most of their lives dedicated to us, the mostly ungrateful students...

This post is not about the science or art or talent of teaching or education or any of that!! There are professionals and experts for this!!

This post is a Thank You, a genuine, heartfelt, grateful Big Thank You to all my wonderful TEACHERS...

This post is an apology, a very long overdue apology, for not appreciating and acknowledging all my wonderful TEACHERS...

This post is an Ode to my Wonderful TEACHERS, on the occasion of TEACHERS DAY yesterday in Lebanon...

Thank Mrs. Hannoush for making me fall in love with English Writing...

Thank you Mr. Baghdadi and Mr. Ibrahim for making me adore Arabic classes...

Thank you Mr. Abou Daher and Mr. Boudaher for making our English classes more like fun lessons in life, not just English...

Thank you Mr. Qaisi and Mr. Hannoush for expanding my brain processing power to levels I never knew was possible...

Thank you Mrs. Sabbiyoun and Mr. Jba3i for making me enjoy Chemistry, a topic I never liked before...

Thank you Mr. Skafi and Mr. Harfoush and Mr. Bzee3 for making me fall in love with Science and Physics in the most creative ways...

I can probably write pages and pages about my wonderful TEACHERS, even from elementary school, but I will stop with this, thanking everyone I did not mention above, and thanking the TEACHERS of today, and tomorrow... Thank you... Happy TEACHERS Day...

The Spell of LOVE

She was a strong independent woman. Successful at work, loved by her friends, close to her family! She had a busy schedule, but not too stressful... She often planned outings with her friends, fun outings, fun nights, fun activities... She would visit her family often, and keep that lovely strong bond with her parents and siblings... At work, with her friends, wherever she is present, her smiles are contagious, like a positive spell that captivates anyone who witnesses her beauty... She was very well respected, adored by everyone who knew her, up close or from a distance... On top, she is a caring and loving single mother... From the look of it, you would say, she had it all, she is in a happy place...

He was a social butterfly, always out with friends, always making plans, activities, outings, hangouts, anything to bond with people... He loved his work, and was loved by his colleagues as well... Professionally he was good at what he did, highly recognized by his peers and superiors... He was the shrink of his team, with colleagues seeking him for advice, for support, venting out their issues and problems, spelling out all their daily stress... He was a good listener and a good advice giver... He was also a Joker and a Flirt, in the good sense! On top, he was a caring and loving single father... From a distance, you would think, this guy has it all worked out, he is having the time of his life...

Her crossed path with Him... Unplanned, unexpected, yet, Cupid, it seems, had his mind made up... She and Him were suddenly talking, texting, hanging out, bonding, and getting closer and closer to each other...

Her smiles became more contagious, her happiness barometer was at all times high...

His compassion for his friends and colleagues became more controlled, with boundaries...

She kept doing all she used to do before meeting him, and those around her, who thought she had it all before, now witness a new level of having it all...

He kept doing most of what he used to do before meeting her, and those around him, who thought he got it all worked out before, now admire this improved (controlled) version of him...

But she is human...

And he is human...

And humans make mistakes...

It is bound to happen, to her, to him, or both...

Fast forward, and a mistake happened!

The mistake caused a fight, an argument, a misunderstanding, confusion, shock, hurt, and a breakup...

Her smiles became less contagious, her happiness level faded, a bit...

His compassion for his friends and colleagues became a bit meh, weaker, and shallower...

She kept doing all she used to do before meeting him, and those around her, who thought she had it all before, now noticed something was off, something was wrong, the vibe was off...

He kept doing most of what he used to do before meeting her, and those around him, who thought he got it all worked out before, now they notice he was engaging less, talking less, doing less...

She did not talk to him, she had strict rules, standards, and beliefs, even if she wanted to, even if she had that burning urge, she just didn't talk to him...

He did not talk to her, but he was thinking of her, of what action to take, without hurting her, he was confused, he was hurting, but he just didn't know how to talk to her...

She was telling anyone who wondered: Anything wrong? She simply replied: All is good...

He was telling anyone who wondered: Anything wrong? He simply replied: All ok...

She was going about her normal day at work, attending meetings, working on her tasks, doing her thing...

He was listening to a romantic playlist while working... A song came up, his meh face suddenly put on a smile, he paused what he was working on, he rewinded the song, he focused on the lyrics, he smiled, smiled more, then a happy tear followed, more happy tears, now mixing with a smile, with images of her smile in his head... It was a song that expressed what he felt, what he wanted to say, what he wanted to do... Could it be?

He sent the song to her, hopeful, excited, anxious, and waited...

She saw the message, she paused what she was working on, she opened the song, focusing on the lyrics, she smiled, smiled more, then a happy tear followed, more happy tears, now mixing with a smile, with images of him in her head... It was a song that touched something deep inside of her and ignited her emotions, those she kept at bay... Could it be?

He was waiting, anxiously, then he called her, with a big hopeful and loving smile on his face...

She answered, anxiously, with a joyful and lovely smile on her face...

They talked, for hours, they reconciled, they rekindled, her and him, melting in emotions, longing for their next encounter, with contagious smiles all around...

This, my friends, is the SPELL OF LOVE...

I leave you with this quote from my current lovely K-Drama show:

"It’s nice to be single. It’s comfortable. You don’t need to worry about anyone. But the thing is, the joy of being single can just never compare to the joy of falling in love!"

Emotions, Distance, and Silence

 

Step back, keep a distance, stay far away...

But what is wrong with being close?! I care, and my feelings are genuine, and I love the close connection, the rekindling of emotions that are genuine and deep...

So what?! It is not about you only... What about the other person, do you know what this means to them? Do you know how they feel, how they will react, what they will expect?

I think so... I can feel the warmth, the excitement, the joy with every conversation, with every message, with every encounter... It is pure and genuine, it is undeniable...

Maybe now, at the moment, it brings momentary happiness, it is genuine, I agree... But what next? What is your plan, next steps, long term??

Well, why do I need a plan? Can't we just enjoy the moments and worry about the future later? Why sacrifice those amazing moments and spend the present thinking about the future?!

Because you are not in your 20s or 30s anymore... You have matured, you have responsibilities, you have dependents, you have a life to manage... Besides, what about them? Would they be content to live in the moment without expectations??

Hold on, I do not mean I only want to live for the moment!! Yes, I am crazy enough to do so, but I still think about the future... Did you forget, I am a Project Manager by profession, plans are my thing!! We did talk about the future, not seriously yet, but we did, and we will in the future... We even have one milestone set: 25-7-25!

It might already be too late buddy... Expectations are different, emotions are different, humans are different, period! So again, step back, and keep your distance, please...

But if the damage is done already, I need to fix it, I need to explain, I don't want to cause any harm, I don't want to be misunderstood... I care deeply and genuinely about them... I cannot lose them, I do not want to lose them!

Didn't you already try to explain? What happened? It all fired back! It made things worse! So hold your ego and walk away... Just accept the fact that you lost them, again...

I do not think I did a good job explaining what happened! It was sudden, shocking, and painful!! That can't be it! This is too profound to be gone just like that... It is not about ego, it is not about who is right or wrong! There are emotions, there are connections, so deep and true, that have great potential for the future, like you said, long term... We can't throw away all that!!

Potential for what exactly? Do you know what would that be?? Aren't you expected to define it?

I do not know yet, and it has not been long enough to define it yet!! It can evolve, it can change, it can grow, or it can fade away and go dormant, just like it did before!

Dude, before, that was decades ago!! You are not in school anymore!! You cannot think the same way you did almost 30 years ago!! Grow up...

What can I say, I am a hopeless romantic! Maybe this is my problem... No matter how true my feelings are, no matter how hard I try, no matter how caring I am, I always blow it, I always hurt those close to me! What's wrong with me!?

Maybe you need to communicate better, you need to be more clear, you need to set boundaries, you need to grow up...

Ok whatever, I know, I have to work on myself, fine... But what now? What about this pain, this wound, the constant tears in my eyes, for the loss of someone so dear and precious, this can't be it! There must be something I can do?!

You can try, but it is not only up to you, they have feelings too, they have expectations, they have a mind of their own... I admit, it is a shame to lose such a beautiful connection, but hey, life is a bitch! It does not always go the way we expect it to go... Maybe try, hard but not too hard, do not overstep, do not cause more damage in the process, and who knows, maybe it was just an explosive moment, maybe it will pass... And maybe it was so hurtful for them, that it will take time to heal... And worse come to worse, it might never heal, and that's it, buddy!! Move on...

But I don't want them to hurt, I don't want them to feel pain!

They might not be hurting at all!! They might be actually more mature than you and are consciously protecting themselves from you and any potential pain you might bring, frankly like they should!!

Seriously?! This is what I do? This is what has been going on between us? Am I the Godzilla of emotions? I just bring pain and destruction!!

Maybe you cannot see it, but it is the reality! Bottom line, go away, work on yourself, keep your distance, and observe from the other side, like you used to over the past decades, why change that now, and lose that pure and beautiful image you had of each other all this time!!

I definitely do not want to ruin that, and this is why I am feeling all this pain and hurt... If it was someone normal, you know, just a normal person in my life, maybe it would not hurt as much... This is different, this is special, this is deep and genuine, how many times do I need to explain it to you!!

All I can tell you at this stage is if it is meant to be, it will happen, today, tomorrow, next week, next month, or maybe 25-7-25, or never! You can try to mend wounds, clarify expectations, set boundaries and plans for the future, and see how and where things go. And you have lost people before that you cared about, people that meant to you, it is part of life... You cannot keep everyone you care about! Accept the fact that some people might see you differently from how you see them, some people might value your presence in their lives differently from how much they mean to you! Some people might fight you instead of fighting for you! And if you cannot fix things, and you lose them, just enjoy the scene from far away, keep your emotions to yourself, and move on...

You are mean dude, but maybe you are right... I got to try and see, otherwise I will just drown in pain and hurt... Thanks, dude...

I am not mean buddy, I am realistic and blunt, let's call it mature! Anyways, how about we stop here, and continue this conversation soon... Maybe you will have positive news for me next time... Enjoy the scenery for now, I can see you discovered a nice distant spot!

Yup, I took my emotions, to a very distant spot, and sat in silence, complete utter silence, freezing cold silence, even my phone froze to death! Anyway, dude, I am really too tired and need to rest... So, to be continued... Take care, with lots of love...

A CONVERSATION BETWEEN ME, MYSELF, AND THE FROZEN SAINT LAURENT RIVER...