An Ode to my Wonderful TEACHERS

When we were kids, MOST of us hated school, we hated homework, we hated quizzes and exams... We hated our TEACHERS!!

Most of us wanted to go to school to have fun with our friends, to play sports, to take part in clubs and activities, or to meet that girl/boy we liked... Some did not even want to go to school at all!!

Most of us did not understand: What would we use Geometry for in real life!!

Most of us did not get it: Why do we need to learn about ancient history, it is history, who cares!

Most of us did not like it: This complicated Physics is irrelevant, I want to be a writer when I grow up, why waste my energy on it!

Most of us did not tolerate it: So much material to cover, so many quizzes and exams, too much pressure!!

Most of us took it out on our TEACHERS: Disrespect, Practical Jokes, Pranks, and some really Nasty Pranks... We were creative in ways to get our frustration on our TEACHERS!

MOST of us were wrong my friends...

TEACHERS made us who we are today...

TEACHERS shaped a lot of our talents, strengths, and powers...

TEACHERS prepared us for real life, for the tough journey, for our future...

TEACHERS sacrificed themselves to ensure we can make it in life...

TEACHERS were generous and loving humans who gave us priceless wealth...

TEACHERS spent most of their lives dedicated to us, the mostly ungrateful students...

This post is not about the science or art or talent of teaching or education or any of that!! There are professionals and experts for this!!

This post is a Thank You, a genuine, heartfelt, grateful Big Thank You to all my wonderful TEACHERS...

This post is an apology, a very long overdue apology, for not appreciating and acknowledging all my wonderful TEACHERS...

This post is an Ode to my Wonderful TEACHERS, on the occasion of TEACHERS DAY yesterday in Lebanon...

Thank Mrs. Hannoush for making me fall in love with English Writing...

Thank you Mr. Baghdadi and Mr. Ibrahim for making me adore Arabic classes...

Thank you Mr. Abou Daher and Mr. Boudaher for making our English classes more like fun lessons in life, not just English...

Thank you Mr. Qaisi and Mr. Hannoush for expanding my brain processing power to levels I never knew was possible...

Thank you Mrs. Sabbiyoun and Mr. Jba3i for making me enjoy Chemistry, a topic I never liked before...

Thank you Mr. Skafi and Mr. Harfoush and Mr. Bzee3 for making me fall in love with Science and Physics in the most creative ways...

I can probably write pages and pages about my wonderful TEACHERS, even from elementary school, but I will stop with this, thanking everyone I did not mention above, and thanking the TEACHERS of today, and tomorrow... Thank you... Happy TEACHERS Day...

The Spell of LOVE

She was a strong independent woman. Successful at work, loved by her friends, close to her family! She had a busy schedule, but not too stressful... She often planned outings with her friends, fun outings, fun nights, fun activities... She would visit her family often, and keep that lovely strong bond with her parents and siblings... At work, with her friends, wherever she is present, her smiles are contagious, like a positive spell that captivates anyone who witnesses her beauty... She was very well respected, adored by everyone who knew her, up close or from a distance... On top, she is a caring and loving single mother... From the look of it, you would say, she had it all, she is in a happy place...

He was a social butterfly, always out with friends, always making plans, activities, outings, hangouts, anything to bond with people... He loved his work, and was loved by his colleagues as well... Professionally he was good at what he did, highly recognized by his peers and superiors... He was the shrink of his team, with colleagues seeking him for advice, for support, venting out their issues and problems, spelling out all their daily stress... He was a good listener and a good advice giver... He was also a Joker and a Flirt, in the good sense! On top, he was a caring and loving single father... From a distance, you would think, this guy has it all worked out, he is having the time of his life...

Her crossed path with Him... Unplanned, unexpected, yet, Cupid, it seems, had his mind made up... She and Him were suddenly talking, texting, hanging out, bonding, and getting closer and closer to each other...

Her smiles became more contagious, her happiness barometer was at all times high...

His compassion for his friends and colleagues became more controlled, with boundaries...

She kept doing all she used to do before meeting him, and those around her, who thought she had it all before, now witness a new level of having it all...

He kept doing most of what he used to do before meeting her, and those around him, who thought he got it all worked out before, now admire this improved (controlled) version of him...

But she is human...

And he is human...

And humans make mistakes...

It is bound to happen, to her, to him, or both...

Fast forward, and a mistake happened!

The mistake caused a fight, an argument, a misunderstanding, confusion, shock, hurt, and a breakup...

Her smiles became less contagious, her happiness level faded, a bit...

His compassion for his friends and colleagues became a bit meh, weaker, and shallower...

She kept doing all she used to do before meeting him, and those around her, who thought she had it all before, now noticed something was off, something was wrong, the vibe was off...

He kept doing most of what he used to do before meeting her, and those around him, who thought he got it all worked out before, now they notice he was engaging less, talking less, doing less...

She did not talk to him, she had strict rules, standards, and beliefs, even if she wanted to, even if she had that burning urge, she just didn't talk to him...

He did not talk to her, but he was thinking of her, of what action to take, without hurting her, he was confused, he was hurting, but he just didn't know how to talk to her...

She was telling anyone who wondered: Anything wrong? She simply replied: All is good...

He was telling anyone who wondered: Anything wrong? He simply replied: All ok...

She was going about her normal day at work, attending meetings, working on her tasks, doing her thing...

He was listening to a romantic playlist while working... A song came up, his meh face suddenly put on a smile, he paused what he was working on, he rewinded the song, he focused on the lyrics, he smiled, smiled more, then a happy tear followed, more happy tears, now mixing with a smile, with images of her smile in his head... It was a song that expressed what he felt, what he wanted to say, what he wanted to do... Could it be?

He sent the song to her, hopeful, excited, anxious, and waited...

She saw the message, she paused what she was working on, she opened the song, focusing on the lyrics, she smiled, smiled more, then a happy tear followed, more happy tears, now mixing with a smile, with images of him in her head... It was a song that touched something deep inside of her and ignited her emotions, those she kept at bay... Could it be?

He was waiting, anxiously, then he called her, with a big hopeful and loving smile on his face...

She answered, anxiously, with a joyful and lovely smile on her face...

They talked, for hours, they reconciled, they rekindled, her and him, melting in emotions, longing for their next encounter, with contagious smiles all around...

This, my friends, is the SPELL OF LOVE...

I leave you with this quote from my current lovely K-Drama show:

"It’s nice to be single. It’s comfortable. You don’t need to worry about anyone. But the thing is, the joy of being single can just never compare to the joy of falling in love!"

Emotions, Distance, and Silence

 

Step back, keep a distance, stay far away...

But what is wrong with being close?! I care, and my feelings are genuine, and I love the close connection, the rekindling of emotions that are genuine and deep...

So what?! It is not about you only... What about the other person, do you know what this means to them? Do you know how they feel, how they will react, what they will expect?

I think so... I can feel the warmth, the excitement, the joy with every conversation, with every message, with every encounter... It is pure and genuine, it is undeniable...

Maybe now, at the moment, it brings momentary happiness, it is genuine, I agree... But what next? What is your plan, next steps, long term??

Well, why do I need a plan? Can't we just enjoy the moments and worry about the future later? Why sacrifice those amazing moments and spend the present thinking about the future?!

Because you are not in your 20s or 30s anymore... You have matured, you have responsibilities, you have dependents, you have a life to manage... Besides, what about them? Would they be content to live in the moment without expectations??

Hold on, I do not mean I only want to live for the moment!! Yes, I am crazy enough to do so, but I still think about the future... Did you forget, I am a Project Manager by profession, plans are my thing!! We did talk about the future, not seriously yet, but we did, and we will in the future... We even have one milestone set: 25-7-25!

It might already be too late buddy... Expectations are different, emotions are different, humans are different, period! So again, step back, and keep your distance, please...

But if the damage is done already, I need to fix it, I need to explain, I don't want to cause any harm, I don't want to be misunderstood... I care deeply and genuinely about them... I cannot lose them, I do not want to lose them!

Didn't you already try to explain? What happened? It all fired back! It made things worse! So hold your ego and walk away... Just accept the fact that you lost them, again...

I do not think I did a good job explaining what happened! It was sudden, shocking, and painful!! That can't be it! This is too profound to be gone just like that... It is not about ego, it is not about who is right or wrong! There are emotions, there are connections, so deep and true, that have great potential for the future, like you said, long term... We can't throw away all that!!

Potential for what exactly? Do you know what would that be?? Aren't you expected to define it?

I do not know yet, and it has not been long enough to define it yet!! It can evolve, it can change, it can grow, or it can fade away and go dormant, just like it did before!

Dude, before, that was decades ago!! You are not in school anymore!! You cannot think the same way you did almost 30 years ago!! Grow up...

What can I say, I am a hopeless romantic! Maybe this is my problem... No matter how true my feelings are, no matter how hard I try, no matter how caring I am, I always blow it, I always hurt those close to me! What's wrong with me!?

Maybe you need to communicate better, you need to be more clear, you need to set boundaries, you need to grow up...

Ok whatever, I know, I have to work on myself, fine... But what now? What about this pain, this wound, the constant tears in my eyes, for the loss of someone so dear and precious, this can't be it! There must be something I can do?!

You can try, but it is not only up to you, they have feelings too, they have expectations, they have a mind of their own... I admit, it is a shame to lose such a beautiful connection, but hey, life is a bitch! It does not always go the way we expect it to go... Maybe try, hard but not too hard, do not overstep, do not cause more damage in the process, and who knows, maybe it was just an explosive moment, maybe it will pass... And maybe it was so hurtful for them, that it will take time to heal... And worse come to worse, it might never heal, and that's it, buddy!! Move on...

But I don't want them to hurt, I don't want them to feel pain!

They might not be hurting at all!! They might be actually more mature than you and are consciously protecting themselves from you and any potential pain you might bring, frankly like they should!!

Seriously?! This is what I do? This is what has been going on between us? Am I the Godzilla of emotions? I just bring pain and destruction!!

Maybe you cannot see it, but it is the reality! Bottom line, go away, work on yourself, keep your distance, and observe from the other side, like you used to over the past decades, why change that now, and lose that pure and beautiful image you had of each other all this time!!

I definitely do not want to ruin that, and this is why I am feeling all this pain and hurt... If it was someone normal, you know, just a normal person in my life, maybe it would not hurt as much... This is different, this is special, this is deep and genuine, how many times do I need to explain it to you!!

All I can tell you at this stage is if it is meant to be, it will happen, today, tomorrow, next week, next month, or maybe 25-7-25, or never! You can try to mend wounds, clarify expectations, set boundaries and plans for the future, and see how and where things go. And you have lost people before that you cared about, people that meant to you, it is part of life... You cannot keep everyone you care about! Accept the fact that some people might see you differently from how you see them, some people might value your presence in their lives differently from how much they mean to you! Some people might fight you instead of fighting for you! And if you cannot fix things, and you lose them, just enjoy the scene from far away, keep your emotions to yourself, and move on...

You are mean dude, but maybe you are right... I got to try and see, otherwise I will just drown in pain and hurt... Thanks, dude...

I am not mean buddy, I am realistic and blunt, let's call it mature! Anyways, how about we stop here, and continue this conversation soon... Maybe you will have positive news for me next time... Enjoy the scenery for now, I can see you discovered a nice distant spot!

Yup, I took my emotions, to a very distant spot, and sat in silence, complete utter silence, freezing cold silence, even my phone froze to death! Anyway, dude, I am really too tired and need to rest... So, to be continued... Take care, with lots of love...

A CONVERSATION BETWEEN ME, MYSELF, AND THE FROZEN SAINT LAURENT RIVER...

Thank you for being My Princess

For the past 6 years, my life has been in constant change, drastic changes, ups and downs, happiness and sadness, joy and drama, beyond the normal variance of life... Divorce, marriage, moving countries and homes, shifting careers, and more... But throughout those 6 years, there has been one amazing constant, my source of unconditional joy and happiness, my source of deep genuine love, my inspiration and hope, my Princess: KOUKA, my sweet little daughter...

No matter what my life brought me, my little princess was always there, smiling, laughing, playing, growing up, learning, and with every step she took, with every new adventure she lived, with every game, I also grew up, and learned, and realized that no matter what, my princess is always there for me, giving me strength and happiness, when we are together, or apart, when playing together, or when looking at her lovely pictures...

For 6 years, my love for being a DAD has grown more and more... For a person who did not value family ties before, for a person who never played with children before, for a person who could not commit to living in once place for more than a few years, KOUKA has transformed me completely, enjoying being a DAD, loving commitment, seeking stability, and planning for a future that is beyond a few years, planning for a future for my little princess, with me in it...

For 6 years, I have been unable to explain or express what KOUKA has taught me, or what she means to me... Because with every day that passes, I realize that there is nothing more precious or genuine like this love of a DAD to his daughter... It is simply priceless and indescribable...

No matter what I say or write or do, nothing can fully describe the joy and happiness my little princess brings me... And I hope that I can do the same to her, over and over again for the rest of my life...

I might be repeating a lot of my words, because for the past week, as we come to celebrate her 6th birthday, I have been trying to write this blog, but every time I fail to find the right words, or the right expressions...

And so, simply, to my little Princess KOUKA, thank you for being my PRINCESS...

I vow to continue to learn and strive to become a better DAD with every moment...

Happy Birthday KOUKA, Happy 6th Birthday my precious, Happy Birthday my love...

Thank you for everyone who sent lovely birthday wishes, wishing you all the same for you and your lovely families...

Love and Peace to all...

BISS (Abu Kouka)

When there is a WILL, there is always a WAY...

It's amazing how each of us is different, the way we think, the way we react, the way we understand, the way we feel... Really, each one of us is so unique in all those sets of actions that we may do when put in the exact same situations!!!

One important overall action that is one of my favorites, is BEING POSITIVE... Facing problems and hurdles with positivity, trying to learn from situations and gain a positive lesson... Refusing to hate, keeping calm, and hoping for the best always... Persevering and not quitting till the end... Facing obstacles with solutions and alternatives... Handling obstacles and changes in a positive manner, trying to resolve and overcome all issues in a positive way...

In my life I have been through a lot of instances where without my positive attitude I could have lost a lot, my life even... And I have seen a lot of my friends do the same, embracing hope and positive attitude and keep going forward towards the best there is... It doesn't always work, but it's more fun and exciting going on this journey of change, of resolution, of triumph, of winning, of overcoming, it's more fun doing that while being positive...

You got fired from your job, look at it as an opportunity for change, to look for new ones, a better one maybe, a more exciting job, a job you always dreamed of... But you have to work to get it, search and apply, improve your skills, network and make contact with key people who can help. It's not your positive attitude alone that will get you your dream job while sitting playing with your PlayStation 24/7 and expecting the employer to look eagerly for you!!!

You discovered you have an illness, well, besides getting the right treatment, you need the positive attitude to help you overcome whatever disease you got. Think about changing things in your life if it helps your case... Join groups who can help you deal with the illness... Volunteer with associations who work on your illness, maybe try to help others who are in the same boat, but they unfortunately fell in despair and negativity...

You got a divorce, maybe it was not working out and you are better off on your own, or with someone else... Or maybe you need to really work hard on yourself to win your spouse back, and prove you can make it with the new YOU... However nasty and devastating and sad your divorce is, there is always something positive to take from it, there is always a positive way to deal with it and handle it...

And this is my special one, which everyone have been asking me about recently: WEIGHT GAIN & LOSS!! A lot of us get depressed when we gain weight, when you start trying on those clothes that you like and discovering that it doesn't fit you anymore!! And I'm talking here about those of us who gained weight because of eating or because of laziness!! The medical conditions of obesity are beyond my expertise... But as far as dealing with normal weight gain, well, deal with it, positively... Don't sit and whine, or sit depressed, eating more depression food, like finishing a Nutella jar every night, because you are depressed and you can't control it!!!

Of course you can deal with it positively. Like I did... I gained a lot of weight over the past few years... And although it never bothered me, this Fall, I decided that getting fit and losing those extra kilos is an area I wanted to tackle... And for those who were following my updates on Facebook or Instagram, yes I lost 13 kilos in just 4 months!! It did not come easy, and I did not take a magic potion or eat those weird foods that taste awful!! I ate chocolates, I ate hotdogs, I ate bread, I ate chips, I ate whatever I wanted, yet differently. And above all, I have to give the biggest credit to this gadget that helped me achieve my goal, the FITBIT FLEX fitness bracelet. Again, the bracelet doesn't have magical powers, nor will it do the work for you while you keep doing exactly what you used to do to gain those extra kilos... First of all, I handled this positively, meaning I did not let my over weight depress me. I just handled it as a target that I need to reach. And along the way, if I am not progressing according to plan, I'll change something or do something different or do more work to get on track... Always staying positive, and believing that I can do it... As for how exactly I did that, that's a different blog, or actually might be a series of blogs that I will need to write and discuss with others who are interested in this topic...

To end this blog, I want to thank all of you who stood by my side in my low moments, in my problems, in my desperate moments and reminded me to put on my positive attitude and face life with a smile on my face... Thank you for being part of my life, my positive happy life :)

Now off you go, think about your life, your issues, and how you can face it all in a positive manner, and achieve something... I am myself have been dealing with all the accumulated issues I gathered over the years in a positive manner, and it has been going well, being resolved one after the other, hoping to achieve all my goals very very soon...

Good luck folks...

BISS

Politics is a Game!!

For everyone who still thinks and believes that his/her political party is THE ONE which is fighting for what is RIGHT and GOOD, I have two descriptions for you: NAIVE or BLIND!!

Politics is a GAME, and not any game, it's one the dirtiest games ever to exist on earth!! In politics it's never about what is good or what is right for the country or the people, it's always about what's good and what's best for the party, the party members, or mostly for the party leaders!!

Parties try to control and influence every aspect of our lives as much as possible, with whatever cost, as long as it keeps them in power. They interfere in the financial sector, social matters, laws and regulations across the board, taxes, health care services, even religion!!! Yes, RELIGION!!

You see, through out history, even before Islam and Christianity and Judaism, religion was always, and will always be controlled by the strong politicians. Kings controlled religion, even modified it, to suite their interests!! Rulers fought over power, with wars and assassinations and divisions, all in the sake of controlling empires... At some point, religious leaders, influenced by politics, had citizens fight in the name of God to capture territories, and rewarded soldiers with deeds in heaven!! It was all to serve the politics, not GOD!! And the examples never stop till today...

Now here is the trick: It is OK to be a member of a party and join their dirty political game. This is becoming part of our social life, part of our democratic life!! What is not acceptable to think that you are actually in the RIGHT or IDEAL party, and that everyone else in ten other parties is wrong!! They are actually doing exactly what you are doing. Each member is defending their own party, in this huge dirty game. As long as you admit this and is aware of this, you are being realistic and open.

The issue here is where this line between promoting and defending your party, and attacking and destroying the other, where this line stops!! It is a very blurry line unfortunately!!

Some use wars, crime, killings and assassinations... Some use money and bribery... Some use prostitution and sexual seduction and scandals!! Some use religion and traditions to command you and control you!! And so many other ways that we can't even detect or account for...

All those secrets, scandals, spy files, assassinations, conspiracy theories, they would amaze you with the amount of deception and lies and crimes that underlying a lot of those big democracies as well dictatorships. And we are all part of it, we vote for those people, we work for those people, we obey and listen to those people... And that makes us part of whatever dirty game is going on....

And the interesting part is that no matter how good or bad a person is, once they get into politics, they are transformed gradually into beasts, serving their interests and their party and their leaders... They are brainwashed, controlled, lied on, but they choose to believe the lies, until another party does a better job in brainwashing them... It's part of the game...

In addition, there is one important thing to know here: Politicians are Excellent Speakers and Slick Liars... They utilize these skills to control the masses, to make you believe what they want you to believe, to make you act based on their strategy, to make you defend them blindly, sometimes costing lives and blood and destruction!! And if they ever lose any of these two skills, you know that their political career is coming to an end...

There are no friends in politics, rather there are alliances, partnerships which benefit all parties involved. Once those benefits stop, or if your goal changes and contradicts with those partners, the alliance comes to an end. Your partners and allies can suddenly become your enemies. And the other way is valid too. You can be in a long harsh battle with an opponent, till the moment when there are circumstances or conditions that dictate a necessary alliance between those enemies. And hence, in the sake of political gain, your enemy can become your partner!! 

There is no absolute GOOD in politics, there is the good for the party, for its members and leaders. Any initiative which is bad for the country, the people, or other parties, can be GOOD to a party if it serves its needs and benefits!! And this same initiative, if circumstances change, it can become bad, and politicians can masterfully explain why they reconsidered their position, without losing grounds. That's a skill of smart politicians!!

You, as a member of any specific party, you are willingly joining that party in its dirty game... You are accepting the lies, you are accepting to be brainwashed and controlled by that party!!

And so, for everyone out there, please note that you are NO BETTER than anyone else who opposes your views or politics. You simply lie on different sides of the dirty game, each playing for their own team, using different strategies and techniques than your opponents!! At the same time, when choosing a party to defend and join, please check which one suits you more than others, don't waste your time looking for the ideal or the clean or the open party. Those descriptions do not exist in politics, PERIOD. Don't even try convincing others or arguing about this point!!

Finally, learn about politics, learn the techniques, learn how to analyze and campaign and calculate gains and losses in politics. Educate yourself. Don't be a blind follower. Socialize and talk about politics with an open mind. Try to explore and learn about your party as well as about others. Be open to change, switching, and evolution... We are all part of politics, we have to be, more or less... So let's do it in the best possible way, and history will judge us...

Good luck to all of you in your dirty games...

Game on... 

BISS

Goodbyes, Letting Go, and Moving On...

Kinda, my daughter, is only 5 years old, a little princess, still in Daycare, where she spent the last 3 years. She made lots of friends, children and teachers, some very close, seeing each other beyond the proximity of the Daycare...

Today was her last day, last day to attend, last day to see her friends, last day in Daycare before she goes to Kindergarten next month. And although she is only 5 years old, today was very emotional to her!! She didn't want to leave, she didn't like the fact that it's her last day, she kept telling me I don't want it to be my last day. She kept saying that she loves her friends, she doesn't want to go away. She had this sad face, which is heart breaking. Her friends started to notice that she is sad. They started to come and talk to her, comfort her, tell her that they love her, give her affection and support. Those are all 5 years old children!!

It was such an emotional scene, and inspiring as well. It makes you think, that no matter how old we are, goodbyes are never easy, they are hard, emotional, heart breaking. We suffer and feel the pain of going away, letting go of those we love. It makes you think that human emotion is profound, genuine, and deep...

For us adults, we can rationalize those situations, and try to convince ourselves that this is something that has to happen, and hope for a better tomorrow, hope this is for the best, for everyone... We try to control our emotions, not to break up in tears and despair, although we often fail. We try to believe that letting go is the natural course of life, and that letting go is a sign of strength, and that letting go is a positive thing... We read inspirational quotes, we listen to our friends and loved ones, trying to gain that strength to let go... And move on, towards the next step, next chapter, next book...

I believe in letting go and moving on, although I mostly fail in actually doing it... Maybe I act as if I moved on, while in fact, deep inside, that pain of letting go eats me alive, hurts every part of me, dramatizes my life, inside... I control my outer looks and reactions and interactions. It's so painful, but I believe we all have to do it, and eventually can do it ... When it's time, when all has been said and done, when it's time for change, we have to be strong, let go and move on, with hope and a smile on our face...

As for Kinda, my little princess, I know it hurts a bit, but I'm sure with a few toys, and some play time and ice cream, the fun will make her happy, and make her move on, for now at least :-)

Wish it was that easy for us adults, but it's not!!

Here is to a happy joyful life filled with excitement, adventures, success, and good health...

To New Beginnings...

Cheers my friends...

BISS